My dad used to always say "get a job you don't need a holiday from". And the longest time that made sense to me... but as i have gotten older.. the point isnt if you need the holiday.. its that you shouldnt make the job your life... sure yes do what you love, but at the end of the day, what matters is who you come home to.. when i speak to my elderly clients. They don't tell me about their careers. Never. They tell me about their families and friends. The holiday they took in the 60s when they built their house. The funny cat they had who beat up the neighbours dog. Those are the moments they remember and want to share with me.
Ah Ren, this has stuck with me all day. Its something I wish everyone kept in mind more - that your work might be important, but its not more important than the people who matter to you.
We seem to have a fairly similiar origin story - i left school at 17 straight to the financial workplace after a friend died of a heroin overdose. I wanted to be a journalist too and was studying media, law and politics (and classical civilisations, but that was for me).
One day I'd love to give you a (gentle) squeeze in real life, and go bird watching x
This was beautiful Ren, thanks for sharing such a big chunk of yourself. 🥹
My condolences for the friends you lost. I lost my oldest friend in 2014, we were besties for literally half a century so I can relate.
You're so right about prioritising the things that matter in life because time is precious. Thanks for reminding us all of the importance of it because we tend to forget. Much love to you dear. 💙
I’ve been struggling with some of the same things lately. I’ll share more with you in our chat, but yes I’ve been going through a similar existential crisis recently. Thanks for giving me a different perspective and pulling me out of my loop.
I wrote this because I hoped that others may benefit from this knowledge and they may receive it earlier in their lives than I did. I’m so glad it was well-timed for you.
Your life is beautiful and full of potential. You need to make space to allow it flourish. 🤍🤍🤍
Maybe I should send this to my family aha. I was brought up with "work hard and you will be happy." That I didn't completely agree with that showed when I was 16 and wrote an angry article about the ratrace that is life. Somehow I ended up 3th with it in a nation wide essay competition.
Anyway. A week ago I was taking the train and was thinking of that essay, somehow I got cought up in the same ratrace. Not completely though, and this year I'm breaking more and more with it. I love my job, and I guess that's rare. But since my personal life became a mess I realised I needed to go back to that 16 yo who wanted to travel and dreamed. The past few years I've been taking so much care of others that I completely ignored that kid. And you're right. There's only one of us and they deserve all the love. 🧡
Loss changes the course of our lives far more often than we expect. Not because we are weak, but because grief changes us in fundamental ways. 🫂
And life rarely turns out the way we imagined when we were young. I think that's one of the reasons your story resonates with me so much. Neither of us ended up where we thought we would.
I went from wanting to be a vet (science was clearly not on my side 🤦🏻♀️), to applying for midwifery programs, to starting a nursing degree... and eventually finding my way somewhere entirely different.
Looking back, I can see how loss, responsibility, and life itself kept redirecting the path. Not always where I wanted to go, but often where I needed to be.
I see something similar in your journey. You kept going. You kept fighting. You kept adapting when life had other plans. And along the way, you figured out what truly matters.
I think that's why so many of us love you, Ren. Not because your life was easy or because everything went according to plan, but because you kept moving forward and built something meaningful from all of it.
You are an incredible person, and I am grateful to be able to walk beside you and fight alongside you, even from half a world away. 🫂🩵🫶🏻
Oh Cata, this made me cry… but in a good way. I feel grateful to have you in my life too. Geographical distance has become less and less meaningful in this post pandemic world… but I do hope one day we can meet because a real hug will always hit differently to a virtual one… and sometimes that’s exactly what we need. 🫂🤍
But you are right, .. I kept going. I kept fighting and reinventing myself more times than I care to remember. I lived out of a suitcase for so long it just became the norm for me.
The lessons I took with me were hard… but I don’t regret them. I wouldn’t change them. Everything is as it is meant to be.
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself Ren 🩷
This is so beautifully written Ren, and so brave.
Literally got me tearing up.
My dad used to always say "get a job you don't need a holiday from". And the longest time that made sense to me... but as i have gotten older.. the point isnt if you need the holiday.. its that you shouldnt make the job your life... sure yes do what you love, but at the end of the day, what matters is who you come home to.. when i speak to my elderly clients. They don't tell me about their careers. Never. They tell me about their families and friends. The holiday they took in the 60s when they built their house. The funny cat they had who beat up the neighbours dog. Those are the moments they remember and want to share with me.
Ah Ren, this has stuck with me all day. Its something I wish everyone kept in mind more - that your work might be important, but its not more important than the people who matter to you.
We seem to have a fairly similiar origin story - i left school at 17 straight to the financial workplace after a friend died of a heroin overdose. I wanted to be a journalist too and was studying media, law and politics (and classical civilisations, but that was for me).
One day I'd love to give you a (gentle) squeeze in real life, and go bird watching x
This was beautiful Ren, thanks for sharing such a big chunk of yourself. 🥹
My condolences for the friends you lost. I lost my oldest friend in 2014, we were besties for literally half a century so I can relate.
You're so right about prioritising the things that matter in life because time is precious. Thanks for reminding us all of the importance of it because we tend to forget. Much love to you dear. 💙
First of all, my condolences. 💐
I’ve been struggling with some of the same things lately. I’ll share more with you in our chat, but yes I’ve been going through a similar existential crisis recently. Thanks for giving me a different perspective and pulling me out of my loop.
I wrote this because I hoped that others may benefit from this knowledge and they may receive it earlier in their lives than I did. I’m so glad it was well-timed for you.
Your life is beautiful and full of potential. You need to make space to allow it flourish. 🤍🤍🤍
Maybe I should send this to my family aha. I was brought up with "work hard and you will be happy." That I didn't completely agree with that showed when I was 16 and wrote an angry article about the ratrace that is life. Somehow I ended up 3th with it in a nation wide essay competition.
Anyway. A week ago I was taking the train and was thinking of that essay, somehow I got cought up in the same ratrace. Not completely though, and this year I'm breaking more and more with it. I love my job, and I guess that's rare. But since my personal life became a mess I realised I needed to go back to that 16 yo who wanted to travel and dreamed. The past few years I've been taking so much care of others that I completely ignored that kid. And you're right. There's only one of us and they deserve all the love. 🧡
And yes, I 100% agree! The lessons were hard but I don't have regrets! It's my life and they shaped the person i was always supposed to be. 🫶🏻
Yeah, crying here at 8 am because of your post so we are even! 🩵🫂
Where to begin, Ren?
Loss changes the course of our lives far more often than we expect. Not because we are weak, but because grief changes us in fundamental ways. 🫂
And life rarely turns out the way we imagined when we were young. I think that's one of the reasons your story resonates with me so much. Neither of us ended up where we thought we would.
I went from wanting to be a vet (science was clearly not on my side 🤦🏻♀️), to applying for midwifery programs, to starting a nursing degree... and eventually finding my way somewhere entirely different.
Looking back, I can see how loss, responsibility, and life itself kept redirecting the path. Not always where I wanted to go, but often where I needed to be.
I see something similar in your journey. You kept going. You kept fighting. You kept adapting when life had other plans. And along the way, you figured out what truly matters.
I think that's why so many of us love you, Ren. Not because your life was easy or because everything went according to plan, but because you kept moving forward and built something meaningful from all of it.
You are an incredible person, and I am grateful to be able to walk beside you and fight alongside you, even from half a world away. 🫂🩵🫶🏻
Oh Cata, this made me cry… but in a good way. I feel grateful to have you in my life too. Geographical distance has become less and less meaningful in this post pandemic world… but I do hope one day we can meet because a real hug will always hit differently to a virtual one… and sometimes that’s exactly what we need. 🫂🤍
But you are right, .. I kept going. I kept fighting and reinventing myself more times than I care to remember. I lived out of a suitcase for so long it just became the norm for me.
The lessons I took with me were hard… but I don’t regret them. I wouldn’t change them. Everything is as it is meant to be.